


Just (Kid)ding Around

by codepink



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Daddy!Kink, M/M, a wee bit of angst, however light it might be, not enough dk in this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-21 21:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9568091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codepink/pseuds/codepink
Summary: Changkyun just wants to be adored and pampered and treated like the child he knows he really is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> sorry in advance for any errors i don't beta. enjoy :) and as always leave a comment if you wanna.

It's always been something Changkyun was curious about. What it would be like to be babied and taken care of by someone other than his mother. He had learned a lot about himself in Boston when he overheard someone talking about daddy kink and what it entailed. The first summer spent there was spent on looking up anything to do with the aforementioned kink.

Turned out he was way more into it then he thought he ever could be. The idea of someone, presumably older, taking care of him. Treating him like a child who was completely dependent and well behaved. Someone to take him into their hands and shape him to how he felt on the inside. But those thoughts became toxic fast.

He came to realize that this was indeed not a normal thing and that people seem to really frown upon that type of thing. That no matter how happy it made him or the other person involved, it was only ever going to be seen as gross or wrong. And that made Changkyun feel guilty for liking what he did.

 

That guilt stayed with him into debut and into his idol life. He had learned quite expertly how to kill any desire to act like a child. Even though he was the youngest, barely legal at debut, he had a deeper voice than anyone else in the group. He looked a lot older too so people treated him a lot older.

Jooheon always got most of the maknae attention and Changkyun resented that at first. But even he isn't immune to Jooheon's unique aegyo and charisma. 

So when he's asked to do aegyo, which is all the time lately, Changkyun berates himself mentally. He likes it a little too much and sometimes he just feels guilty for wanting to be called 'cute' all the time, like Jooheon. Changkyun was cute. Total strangers online even seemed to think so, back when he was desperate for the attention he wanted and sought it online. Not a good time in his life.

"I.M can do aegyo too." Jooheon says during an interview that Changkyun isn't even paying attention to.

He groans but everyone is looking at him and there are fans in the audience so he knows he has no other choice. They all look so expectant.

He brings his fingers to his eyes and copies Jooheon's new signature aegyo. He hates it. He hates how it makes everyone laugh, not coo like they do with Jooheon. It kind of hurts his feelings when no one gives him compliments for his efforts. He tries so hard to be as cute as the second youngest.

The rest of the interview is spoiled and he tries not to pout too much.

 

He's quiet for the car ride home and even when he gets home. Kihyun heads straight for the kitchen when they get home, mumbling about cooking for them. Changkyun dragged himself to his bed and climbed up into it. He didn't want to see anyone else, especially if they were doting on Jooheon like they should be doing for him. 

He feels terrible for his jealousy and he doesn't want it to ruin his friendship but he can't help it. He's too proud, and a little ashamed, to seek out attention. He knows he could easily get it but he's resolved himself not to resort to asking the others to baby him instead of Jooheon.

"Time for dinner." Kihyun comes into the room and taps Changkyun on the foot, to which the younger just pulls his foot in closer and away from the older.

"Not hungry."

And honestly he lost his appetite after his failed attempt at aegyo in front of so many people and cameras. Especially after Jooheon had succeeded at it so easily right before him.

"You sure?" Kihyun sounds skeptical, hand still on his foot. Changkyun just nods because his voice might betray him. "Okay, if you get hungry come out."

And then he's left alone again. Changkyun grabs and hugs his Baymax stuffed animal tight in his arms. He had gotten it as a gift from Hyunwoo when they were in China filming a drama. It had made him so happy that he nearly squealed and hugged the oldest. Instead, he refrained from that, and just smiled and thanked him.

He felt really dumb for being upset but what was he suppose to do about it? Ask one of the older members to coddle him and possibly pet him even?

For now Baymax is the only one to hear him start crying. And once again he feels like the stupidest crybaby ever.

 

He pulls away from Jooheon more and more as time goes on. Every time Jooheon does aegyo Changkyun has to try really hard not to cringe. Every time someone compliments or takes care of Jooheon, rather than him, Changkyun tries not to let the disappointment show on his face.

If Jooheon noticed he did a good job hiding it. Changkyun wondered if the older even cared that he had hurt Changkyun's feelings, even by accident.

Changkyun finds himself pulling away from the others too. It starts with cancelling his gym time with Hyunwoo and Hoseok. The oldest two members are the ones Changkyun wants the most attention from and not getting it from them has made Changkyun bitter towards them. He definitely doesn't want to be in a confined room with them.

 Kihyun asks Changkyun to help with dinner every night, something Changkyun loves doing. Kihyun always has little compliments ready to go about the way Changkyun is so good at chopping stuff when asked to. But, even if he can get attention from it, he starts saying no to the request. Kihyun looks so crest fallen the first time Changkyun tells him no to helping. It hurt Changkyun to do that but he needed to for his own sanity. Maybe.

Minhyuk hangs out with Hyungwon a lot and they get kind of loud sometimes. Changkyun is a quiet person with a calm personality most of the time. So it's not entirely too hard to stop seeking them out. He'd usually sit on Minhyuk's bed with them and watch stuff together, be it movies or whatever. They barely seemed phased at all by it.

His attitude starts to change too. Where he would usually jump at a chance to snuggled up on the couch with someone, he no longer wants to. Where he use to love spending time just relaxing and writing lyrics, he no longer wants to. Where he use to crave the bi-monthly movie nights in the dorms, he declines this time around.

Hyunwoo looks concerned because Changkyun was the one who started them on the tradition in the first place. 

"Are you okay?" Hyunwoo asks from where he sits on the couch, having saved the spot next to him for Changkyun.

Changkyun plays with the hems on his sweater sleeves and shuffles awkwardly in the living room's doorway. He wants to tell the truth and that he's not okay. But that'd probably just get him the wrong kind of attention.

"Yeah, hyung." Is all he says and sighs when he sees the movie selection for the night. It's Bambi, a movie most of the members absolutely hate, but Changkyun absolutely loves. They had went out of their way to choose a movie that he'd like and he's going to ruin everything. He nervously brings his hand up to his mouth, biting the edge of the sleeve. A habit he hates.

"Come sit with us and if you still don't want to watch the movie we'll figure it out from there." Hyunwoo said and patted the still vacant spot on the couch.

Changkyun weighed his options but it didn't sound like Hyunwoo was really asking him. It came across as more of a leader request and as the youngest he couldn't deny Hyunwoo. He bites into the sweater sleeve a little more, tasting fabric softener but ignoring it in favor of moving over to the couch.

It's instantly awkward again. Hyunwoo drapes the blanket over Changkyun's lap and Hyungwon pushes a plush toy into his arms. Changkyun didn't recognize it but shrugged it off. It was a small bunny with a big bow on it's head. It was softer than even Baymax and Changkyun tried not to show how much he already liked the toy.

"Thank you." Changkyun says, voice quiet. Minhyuk starts the movie and Changkyun tries to get comfortable. Hyunwoo is pressing in close from one side and Hyungwon from the other. Hoseok is by his feet and he's surrounded by people he's been blowing off a lot lately. And none of them seemed to resent him for it.

He started tearing up before it even got to the death scene, a part of the movie he always cried a little at. No one ever made fun of him for it. Afterall even Hoseok cries at sad parts of movies. 

Except, these tears aren't because of a fictional death in a movie. These tears are because he's been neglecting everyone and probably hurting their feelings and they still care about him. They still picked his favorite movie. They still saved him a spot on the couch, where he always got to sit it seemed.

Jooheon seemed to notice first.

"Are you crying already?" He asks and it catches everyone else's attention.

"Aww, but it's not even sad yet." Minhyuk smiles and pauses the movie and everyone is staring at him now.

Hyungwon is the one to reach over and put a hand on his shoulder. It's supposed to be comforting but it just makes Changkyun feel worse about his actions lately. They still genuinely care about him and it hurts him that he's been so awful to them because he cant get himself together.

"I'm sorry."

Changkyun ducks his head and pulls his hand back to his mouth, that stupid habit of his. His mom use to yell at him for it which in hindsight just made the habit worse. He feels the tears on his hand as they leak down his cheeks but he can't stop them now. This moment of weakness just makes him feel vulnerable.

"For crying? We all do it, 'Kyun." Jooheon says with a chuckle and everyone agrees. But Changkyun isn't crying because of the movie and they all thought he was and he can't think of a good excuse right now. He can't think of a way to get out of this and retreat back to his bed and his stuffed toys and his cocoon.

"No," Changkyun sniffles and tries to wipe his eyes. A little bit of eyeliner left over from the day smears on the sweater and he sighs cause this is his favorite sweater too. "I've been- I haven't-" He doesn't know what to say as his voice catches in his throat. He sounds awful and probably looks it too.

"I-I've been awful to y-you. I'm so sorry." Changkyun sobs and can't look at anyone. He knows they know what he's talking about and this whole thing just sucks. He hasn't cried like this since he was announced as an official member and he was overwhelmingly happy.

"I've been a bad friend and I-I don't know what to do." He feels like the worst person ever. All they ever wanted to do was spend time with him and he ruined everything. "I-I'm sorry." He feels like such a disappointment to everyone, just like when he failed to debut with Nu'Bility. 

"Do you wanna talk about why you've been weird lately?" Hoseok asks and Changkyun tries not to just fall apart. This is not how he wants everyone to find out, with him too emotional to properly explain himself and why he feels like he has his entire life.

"N-not in front of," Changkyun reaches out for the first hand he can find. "Everyone. N-not like this." His eyes burn but he keeps them closed. The hand in his squeezes and starts to pull. The hand quietly helps him stand and navigate around the members on the floor.

He's led, very slowly, to a bedroom. He still has the sweater hiding his hands, he feels safer this way. The person guiding him suddenly stops and Changkyun runs into their back.

"I'm sorry." Is all he can say. He's had to say it a lot his entire life but he's had to say it more lately than he's ever had to. 

"It's okay." 

Changkyun automatically recognizes the voice as Hoseok's. His second favorite person in the group and also the one who takes care of him the most.

"We need to talk." Hoseok guides him to a bottom bunk and makes Changkyun sit on it. "I'll be right back okay?" Hoseok lets go of his hand and Changkyun just lets him. The older disappears out of the room and he hears the other members asking him questions. 

Changkyun closes his eyes, cause he's still crying, and he doesn't want to see the look of concern on Hoseok's face. He knows he must look pathetic.

Suddenly something soft is being pushed into his arms again. Changkyun looks down and it's the same bunny from earlier, the one Hyungwon gave him. 

"This might help." Hoseok sits next to him and puts a hand on his knee, a comforting gesture that Hoseok usually uses on the members.

"I-I don't know where to start." Changkyun sighs again and hangs his head to look at the hand on his knee. Hoseok's hand looks so big in comparison to Changkyun's own gripping the poor little bunny to death. 

"Wherever you want to." Hoseok's other hand wraps around Changkyun's shoulder as his fingers start massaging his leg. Again trying to be comforting.

Changkyun takes a moment to actually breath and think about things. Think about how much he's actually going to tell Hoseok. About how much the older already knows compared to what Changkyun wants him to know. The deep breathes help Changkyun's hands stop shaking, albeit only a little.

"I'm jealous." Is where he chooses to start. Might as well start with what was the initial problem and work from there.

"Of what?"

"Of how much attention Jooheon gets." He suddenly feels really dumb for ever being jealous and upset at Jooheon. It's not his fault he's cuter than Changkyun.

"Really?" Hoseok sounds kind of skeptical about whether that's the truth or not. "But we don't give him that much?" 

Changkyun can't look at Hoseok but he knows Hoseok's nose is scrunched up right now, it always is when he'd confused. "You do." Changkyun feels like crying more but he knows he can't. "I understand why though. He's cute and charismatic and funny. I'm not any of that and I understand but.."

He takes a moment to breath again and Hoseok speaks before he can continue.

"You're still jealous." Hoseok finished Changkyun's thought process for him. "Changkyun, you know you're cuter than him right?"

Changkyun is genuinely taken aback. He has never thought himself as cute, as hard as he's tried, and he had no inclination that others thought he was.

"What?" 

"Yeah. You're as cute if not cuter than him." Hoseok sounds like he's smiling and Changkyun chances looking up at him. The second eldest is indeed smiling really wide. He looks sincerely happy, eyes crinkling up as he looked at Changkyun.

"You never tell me." Changkyun may or may not be bitter and it may or may not be heard in his voice.

"Jooheon is more open about being cute. You're much more reserved so Jooheon sometimes overshadows you. But never think you're not cute too, you are."

Changkun's mouth went dry because this is literally what he wanted to hear for so long. He's pretty sure his ears are red right now at the complimenting.

"See. You're really cute when you turn red like this." Hoseok's fingers move to Changkyun's sides and Changkyun doubles over when he gets tickled.

The laugh echoes and sounds so foreign because Changkyun hadn't laughed properly in awhile. It makes his stomach hurt but in a very pleasant way.

"But," Hoseok stops tickling him but Changkyun still giggles. "Is that all? I'm sure there's something else that's bothering you. Jealousy doesn't explain your behavior."

And Changkyun knows he's right. Jealousy wouldn't explain why he cut everyone off and not just Jooheon, the object of the jealousy. His giggling slowly dies down in the seriousness again. He didn't know what to say to begin to explain without panicking again, dreading this day for ever.

"I-" Changkyun's throat is going dry again. He can't make words form a decent sentence in his head and he's starting to turn even redder. His face and neck feel like they're on fire and he knows he's really flushed now. "I don't know." It sounds dumb. This whole thing sounds dumb.

"You don't know?"

"Exactly." 

Changkyun is at a complete loss. His heart is about to pound out of his chest and he doesn't think his lungs are supposed to be struggling like this to breathe. So he escapes as quickly as he can.

"Uh, I'm gonna go to bed." It's a valid excuse since they had a long day and he was tired. But mostly he just wanted to cuddle his stuffed plushes and forget they had this conversation.

Hoseok doesn't stop him and Changkyun practically runs from the room.

 

He apologizes and Jooheon accepts it right away. And then they're practically inseparable again, always joined at the hip. Except right now when Changkyun is alone in a practice room with Kihyun. The others had all gone to lunch and Kihyun asked him to stay behind to talk and Changkyun has never been more nervous then he is right now.

Kihyun sits on the floor against the mirrors and beckons Changkyun to sit next to him. Which the younger reluctantly does because he's tired of avoiding Kihyun. He's tired of avoiding everyone that isn't Jooheon. He's been really going above and beyond to avoid Hoseok this whole time.

"Hoseok told us why you've been so weird." 

And Changkyun expected that much. The group didn't keep stuff from each other if it effects the group as a whole. And Changkyun's behavior had been effecting the entire group. Probably putting unwelcome strain on the stress of being an idol.

"Oh." Is all Changkyun says and his stomach swoops with his nerves. He's not wearing a sweater today to distract his hands from shaking so he plays with his fingers instead. When he's nervous his hands shake and it always just makes him more nervous which doesn't help.

"He thinks there's something else but you wouldn't tell him." Kihyun casually puts a leg over Changkyun's legs and an arm around his waist. Effectively locking the maknae in place.

"You're gonna tell me, Changkyun. What's really the matter here?"

Kihyun's voice is tired but authoritative and it makes Changkyun shiver. But Changkyun just shakes his head and looks at his lap. There are tears in his eyes and he doesn't know why other than the fact that this is what he dreaded the most. This day when someone would ask and he'd have to be honest. With himself and the world and most importantly the group.

"Tell me right now or I won't let go." Kihyun's arm around his waist tightens and Changkyun knows the threat is real. He's hungry and nervous and rather be anywhere but here. 

Once again he's lost at what to say to Kihyun. How to start talking about something he's hidden away for years and been so ashamed to even think about.

The tears fell because he knew he needed to talk about it with someone but why did it have to be Kihyun of all people. Kihyun, the one who takes care of them all, was the one person Changkyun would be comfortable talking to. But Changkyun didn't want to dump this kind of baggage on Kihyun who only ever wanted to help.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't cry." Kihyun forced Changkyun to look at him and he wiped the tears from his cheeks. Kihyun looked sincerely worried and that made Changkyun feel guilty again. He had probably hurt Kihyun's feelings too by ignoring him. He probably hurt a lot of them by doing that.

Changkyun gulped and said the first thing that came to mind. Though he regretted it when nausea overtook him at the confession and he got a little light headed.

"I think I have a daddy kink and it's gross and I just wanna be babied but I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I-I'm like this..." But Changkyun couldn't finish because he had started to sob. It was relieving to say the least. Even if he felt faint his heart felt better for finally telling the truth to someone. Even Kihyun.

Kihyun just maneuvered Changkyun into his lap and hugged him as tight as he could. It didn't seem to really set in yet and Kihyun just wanted to make the younger stop crying. He hated seeing anyone this upset especially the maknae of the group, who hasn't cried since debut.

"Shhh. It's still okay." 

But Changkyun didn't feel like it was okay at all now. Kihyun hadn't even said anything other than a few comforting words and Changkyun couldn't gauge his reaction. Oh no what if the older hated him? What if he just ruined everything he had going? He began to sob a little harder at the mere thought.

"O-oh God..." Changkyun hiccuped and Kihyun just kept rubbing his back. Though it felt good Changkyun was more tense then before. "Y-you hate me now, don't you? O-oh... what have I-I done?" Changkyun buried his face in Kihyun's neck and squeezed the older mans neck where his arms were around it.

"Of course I don't hate you. Look at me Changkyun." 

But Changkyun refused and just held on tighter hoping the other wouldn't try to leave. And now he's crying too and they both have vocal practice later, with the entire group, and they're both gonna be hoarse from crying. And Changkyun just feels extremely saddened and worried and scared. 

When Changkyun started actually shaking from crying so hard Kihyun had to do something other than just holding the youngest. So he forcibly pried Changkyun's face away from him and forced Changkyun to look at him. Kihyun leaned forward and kissed Changkyun right on the forehead. It didn't matter the younger was sweaty.

Changkyun just blinked at the small kiss to the forehead. None of the other members, for how touchy they can get, never kissed him. Changkyun just thought it made them all uncomfortable even though Changkyun has seen some other idol groups at least do it on the cheeks. Suddenly his chest didn't hurt so much.

"You are not gross, okay?" Kihyun asked and wiped some tears off Changkyun's cheeks that were about to drip off. "I could never hate you and please don't cry anymore. I can't handle it." 

Changkyun just sniffled and nodded, face a little flush from the forehead kiss. Changkyun actually giggled when Kihyun leaned in to do it again.

"Is it okay if I have a few questions?" Kihyun asked, voice still soft and hands still on Changkyun's cheeks. The last of the tears were slowing down at least.

Again he just nodded because his voice would be weird and he suddenly wants to skip the practice coming up.

"So I guess this mean you're into guys, right?"

Kihyun didn't look or sound judgmental at all and that put Changkyun at ease enough to try talking.

"I guess so. N-never really thought about it before." And really he hadn't even ever questioned his sexuality. He just always knew what he liked.

"So how do you want to be babied?"

"Like, tell me I'm cute a lot. Oh and tuck me into bed or cuddle with me lots." Changkyun was kind of really relieved to be voicing all of this. It was like all the stress was getting lifted off of him. So he continued, voice growing more high pitched the more excited he got. "Stroke my hair and help me do things that a kid can't do."

The whole time Kihyun just smiled. Changkyun's cheeks were bright red and the youngest was smiling, something they all missed.

"And let you call us daddy?"

Changkyun could feel himself going even redder, heat flooding his face. He never really focused or thought about the members getting involved in the kink other than just babying him a bit. Changkyun just shrugged and leaned forward to hide his face in Kihyun's neck again. God, who knew this would be this embarrassing?

 "So cute." Kihyun whispered but it didn't go unheard. Changkyun made a pleased noise in the back of his throat and hugged Kihyun a little tighter.

"I'm gonna sound bad for practice." Changkyun says and clears his throat, already feeling scratchy and the practice might last a few hours. His voice is gonna be dead by the time they make it back home. He sighs and pulls away from Kihyun for a moment. "What do I tell them if I can't rap well?"

Kihyun thought for a moment and watched as Changkyun moved away to stretch his arms above his head. His shirt rode up a bit and Changkyun made a noise, much like a moan, and Kihyun tried not to coo. Even if he knew Changkyun would enjoy him doing that.

"Let me handle it, babe." 

Changkyun was pretty sure his face was now a color that didn't even exist yet. He was hot under the collar and Kihyun being so quick to accept him wasn't helping.

 

Everyone was gathered in a medium sized vocal room along with two trainers. One for the vocalists and one for the rappers, respectively. 

Kihyun had held his hand all the way to the room and only let it go upon entering. Changkyun knew he was still flushed and his throat protested when he bowed and greeted the trainers. It was low, even for him, and hoarse. It didn't particularly sound bad but it definitely was gonna cause issues during his parts.

"You sound sick. Are you sick?" Minhyuk asks and reaches out to put his hand on Changkyun's forehead. He quickly retracts his hand though, "You're really warm."

"I'm not sick." But maybe he should have said he was to get out of the practice and away from all the nosy eyes staring him down. It must have been obvious he had been crying because even he could feel the swelling around his eyes. Surely his face was still really red too so it didn't help plead his case.

"If you are you need to tell us. Rapping with your throat like that could ruin your vocal cords." The vocal trainer said, putting down his notebook.

"I'm fine, really." Changkyun said but no one in the room looked convinced, except Kihyun who knew the truth. "Let me try at least, hyung?"

"Sure. But if it becomes an issue we will make you stop." The trainer said again and handed out a copy of the practice song to everyone.

Ten minutes later changkyun kind of wished he had taken them up on the offer of skipping practice and going home.

 

"Do you want to tell the others?" Kihyun asks when they get into the van. Changkyun is sitting in the very back with Kihyun sitting close next to him. 

Changkyun shakes his head and looks down at his lap, where he's playing with Kihyun's fingers with his own. "Not yet."

"If you don't tell them soon I will. They deserve to know, don't you think?"

And Changkyun nodded because they did deserve to know what was making things weird between them in the first place. But how is he suppose to tell them if he could barely get through telling one person?

 

 On the day Changkyun gets a burst of courage, he goes to Kihyun first. The older has been so supportive and since he knows the truth Changkyun is comfortable. Kihyun seemed to take everything Changkyun told him to heart because he's been going out of his way to spoil the maknae.

It had started with Kihyun staying up with Changkyun and when everyone else, except maybe Hyungwon was asleep, Kihyun would put him to bed. The older would tuck the blanket in around him and make sure there was a stuffed animal in his arms. He'd gently kiss Changkyun on the forehead before quietly leaving again. Changkyun's never slept so well before.

He finds Kihyun in the kitchen with Minhyuk, Hoseok and Hyunwoo. The oldest three are gathered around the table chatting while Kihyun cooks something on the stove. Changkyun bypasses everyone else and heads straight for Kihyun. The others barely seem to even know he's here, he had been so quiet.

He stands awkwardly next to Kihyun until he notices him there. Kihyun just smiles at him and asks, "Need something?" His eyes are soft and he stops stirring the pot to look at Changkyun, giving the younger his full attention.

"I-I want your help." Changkyun could feel a little heat creeping over his neck and he smiled. Kihyun always made him so warm. It was nice and comforting a lot of the time when Changkyun started freaking out a little. Which happens quite a bit because Changkyun is secretly sensitive and sometimes the other members tease too much.

"With what, baby?" Kihyun asks. His voice is low enough that Changkyun knows the others didn't hear the pet name. But it still makes Changkyun squirm a bit and Kihyun silently coos at him.

"Telling them." Changkyun glances over to the table where the older members are laughing at something on Hyunwoo's phone. 

Kihyun follows his gaze and nods, "Okay. When though?"

"As soon as I can."

"Just them or everyone else too?"

Changkyun was suddenly nervous again and Kihyun put a hand on his on the counter. Changkyun's hands were a little shaky and he clenched his fingers.

"Hey, it's okay. I'll be there." Kihyun rubbed the back of Changkyun hand with his fingers. It was rather effective to calm him down enough to swallow and nod. Was he really ready for this? Maybe he should just let Kihyun tell them, he'd probably do a better job explaining than Changkyun would.

"Can you tell them?" Changkyun's voice betrays his nerves with a quiet stutter. "Please, hyung? I-I can't." And really he can't. He'd probably fumble over his words and end up off topic or saying something completely stupid. But this in of itself could potentially be really stupid so it's a double edged sword Changkyun has to fight with. 

"If you really want me to." Kihyun goes back to stirring whatever he's cooking, it smells good. He keeps one hand on Changkyun though for reassurance. "Do you want to be there when I do or..?"

"Yes."

Changkyun needs to be there in case they have more questions that Kihyun can't answer. Even if he would hate to see their faces when the truth comes out. Nonetheless if they all outright reject him.

 Kihyun chooses to do it during dinner when they're all distracted by food. Changkyun is sitting next to him with his hands in his lap, nails digging into his palm. It hurts but the possible rejection from the members hurts even more even if it hasn't happened yet. He's not looking forward to this at all.

"Changkyun has a daddy kink and we all need to start treating him like the maknae he is."

Kihyun says it quickly and with a confidence Changkyun is rather envious of. There's a choking sound followed by someone spitting the rice out of their mouth. Changkyun can hear coughing and someone getting their back patted and he clenches his fists tighter. Well at least no one's saying anything.

But in the newfound silence the anxiety comes back worse than before. Oh no what if the silence was rejection? Changkyun couldn't stop his mind from reeling at the thought and he pushed away from the table. Kihyun reached for him but Changkyun shook him off. He needs to get away from this. Right now.

So he stands and bows, "I'm sorry." And then bolts from the room as fast he can manage. The first place he goes to is the bathroom and he slams the door behind himself louder than he wanted to. He made sure to lock it and he pressed his back against the cold door. His head had started to ache and he was crying.

He was tired of crying so much but he couldn't stop himself. He moves forward and with his clothes still on he steps into the bathtub. He sits in the tub and pulls his knees to his chest, hiding his face in his hands. And then the awful, berating, horrible thoughts came back. His worst nightmares coming to light.

What if he has to leave the group now? What if the company finds out and they make him leave? He can't leave now after all this hard work and heartache to get here. His stomach churned and he thought he might honestly get sick. This was a mistake. Even telling Kihyun was probably a mistake. Why did he have to open his mouth?

There's a soft knock at the door and Changkyun curls into himself more. He can't face anyone right now, can't see the look of disgust or anger on their faces. "Changkyun? You alright?" Comes Kihyun's voice through the thin door. The knob jiggles like he's trying to get in but he can't. 

Changkyun suddenly wants Kihyun here with him. At least he knows Kihyun won't turn away from him or think any less of him because of this secret part of him. It was something Changkyun had to push down and kill all his life and now that other people know he doesn't understand where to go now. He imagined this all very differently.

There's a click and the door opens a little. Changkyun had forgotten they had a key for emergencies stashed somewhere in the dorm. He briefly looked up and was overwhelmingly relieved it was just Kihyun. The older shut the door after himself and st the key on the sink. He kept his distance, respectively giving Changkyun some space.

"Oh, Baby." Kihyun sighs and moves a little closer. When Changkyun doesn't protest Kihyun moves until he too is in the tub. Only he sits on the edge with his feet inside because no way they were both gonna fit in there. Even if Changkyun was curled up and looked smaller than Kihyun has ever seen him be.

"It's okay, baby. It's only me." Kihyun puts a hand on Changkyun's shoulder and can feel how badly the younger is shaking.

Changkyun reaches up to wipe at his eyes but Kihyun gently moves his hands away. Instead Kihyun starts wiping the tears off his cheeks with the soft sleeve of his sweater. It was Changkyun's favorite sweater and Kihyun wore it specifically for that reason and to help the other with telling the others. It was a little strange, after all it was only sweater, but Changkyun needed comfort now.

Changkyun's fingers held tightly to Kihyun's wrist when the older was done and the tears had subsided a little bit. The anxiety was still ever present but at least his stomach calmed down a little bit. He trusted Kihyun and if the older said it was okay then surely it would be. Kihyun's only ever taken good care of him so why would he lie now.

"W-what do I do now?" Changkyun asks and his voice is completely hoarse again. Kihyun removed Changkyun's hand from around his wrist and held his hand instead.

"How about this," Kihyun reaches up and brushes back Changkyun's bangs a bit. "I'll do the talking unless I can't explain something. Then you'll have to. But I won't make you, understand?"

Changkyun just nodded and Kihyun helped him get out of the tub. Changkyun's knees were on fire from being in the uncomfortable position for so long.

Kihyun quietly opened the door and the dorm was absolutely silent. Changkyun moved so he was hidden behind Kihyun a little. It helped that there was barely a height difference so Changkyun could easily disappear behind the older. Kihyun just let him and accommodated him by walking a little slower.

The older guided them both so they were sitting on the couch and everyone else was on the floor. Changkyun could feel everyone's attention on him and he buried a little more into Kihyun's back, hoping the couch could just eat him. He didn't want to be here anymore but he doubted Kihyun would let him leave now.

No one spoke for a moment and it set a new wave of fear inside Changkyun. Again he mistakenly took the silence as a form of possible rejection. Not only had his kink been revealed but it practically outed his sexuality too. That would be a lot for anyone to take in none the less a group of people who knew him so intimately.

"What's a daddy kink?" Someone asked, Jooheon, from somewhere close by. Changkyun could feel his ears turning red.

"Well, basically he wants to be taken of." Kihyun supplies and Changkyun briefly looks up. He locks eyes with Jooheon for a brief moment and has to look away quickly. Jooheon is practically sitting on top of him, perched on the floor near the couch and within touching distance. Changkyun wanted to maybe hug his best friend but knew he couldn't right now.

"Taken care of how?" Jooheon again is the only one to speak. At least his best friend doesn't seem mad or disgusted. Changkyun relaxes just a little bit.

"Like you would a real child." Kihyun starts. Changkyun wonders of the older did a lot of research on all of this. If that's the case then Changkyun is never more grateful. "We treat Jooheon like the baby but Changkyun's the youngest. We need to be better at making sure he remembers that."

Changkyun looks at Jooheon again and the other looks slightly hurt. "Is this my fault?" He asks quietly, hurt evident in his voice. Changkyun can't stand it anymore.

"N-no, it's n-not your fault." Changkyun says and slides a hand down so he can grab Jooheon's. The second youngest looks immensely guilty and Changkyun immediately feels bad. "A-and it's not my fault either, hyung." Changkyun didn't want any of this to hurt Jooheon. Even if Jooheon was sort of the problem to begin with. Or more so the way Jooheon was being treated was to blame.

Changkyun pats the spot on the couch next to him and tugs on Jooheon's hand. Luckily Jooheon understands and he moves to sit next to the maknae. Changkyun is immediately letting go of Kihyun to press himself into Jooheon's side. He felt like the worst friend ever.

"I'm sorry." Changkyun can only apologize now as tears fill his eyes. He had never meant for this thing to cause so many problems between him and other members. Maybe Jooheon was the one Changkyun should have confided it all in. At least the secret would come out a little better and under much different circumstances.

"It's okay." Jooheon rubs his thumb over Changkyun's knuckles and the tears actually come out. He feels stupid for crying, he needs to man up a bit. 

Changkyun physically climbs into Jooheon's lap and straddles his thighs, making sure to distribute his weight. He hugged the second youngest and cried. He was an asshole and a big crybaby about a rift that he was the cause of. He feels like the world maybe hates him a bit to put him in this situation.

"Shhhh. Don't cry, baby." Kihyun reaches over and puts a hand on Changkyun's shoulder. The nickname makes Changkyun feel hot in the face but he keeps it buried in Jooheon's neck. 

"I-I was so mean to you." Changkyun squeezes where his arms are around Jooheon's neck. Jooheon rests his hands on Changkyun's hips and waits for the younger to calm down. 

"It's okay now though, isn't it?" Jooheon asks and taps his fingers on Changkyun's waist, slipping his fingers inside his shirt. Changkyun's skin is warm and Jooheon pulls him closer in hopes the younger stops crying soon. He hates seeing the younger like this and the older members don't look too pleased either.

Changkyun nods and relaxes against Jooheon. He supposes he should explain or say something productive but he can't. So he just sighs and presses his lips to Jooheon's neck. Jooheon laughs and it shakes Changkyun along with him and Changkyun does it again. Jooheon's laugh is comforting and Changkyun relaxes even more.

"So, um, like," Minhyuk starts and it's awkward again. "Who do you want to be daddy then? All of us or just the older ones or,...?"

Changkyun is warm all over and he smiles against the soft skin of Jooheon's neck again. He, again, hadn't put too much thought into all of that. So he just nods and hopes that answers the question to some extent. He felt embarrassed again as the last of the tears fell and soaked into Jooheon's hoodie. 

"Okay then." Hyunwoo finally speaks up, ever the silent, observant leader. "We should get to bed soon. We have an early practice tomorrow."

And that's how slowly everyone gets up to leave the room. But not before they all take turns kissing the top of Changkyun's head. The maknae is really red in the face by the end of it. Kihyun eventually gets up to leave too and tells Jooheon, "Put him to bed with a plush. He sleeps better that way." 

The two youngest just sit there for a few more moments while everyone gets ready for bed. It isn't awkward between them so at least Changkyun doesn't have to worry anymore. Jooheon has forgiven him for everything and this is good, they could move forward now.

Changkyun sits back to look at Jooheon, though not for long before he was looking away again. It was embarrassing to be this close to his friend after the biggest secret ever had just been revealed. But Jooheon didn't look upset so there's that.

Jooheon gently puts a hand on Changkyun's chin and guides Changkyun to look at him. Jooheon is smiling and so is Changkyun and it feels so good.

"Want to sleep in my bunk or yours?" Jooheon asks and presses his fingers into Changkyun's hip. The youngest looks elated and happy and that's all Jooheon could ever want for his best friend in the group.

"Yours, please." 

And then Jooheon is sliding to the edge of the couch and standing. It pushes Changkyun to stand too but that's okay. He stays closely pressed into Jooheon's side, instantly holding hands again. This is progress in the right direction. This is slowly becoming everything he had ever wanted. Even if he was still a little bit scared.

 

"Time to get up."

Changkyun registers a hand running through his hair but he rolls away from it and into the warmth next to him. Arms go around his waist and he hears a chuckle. He just snuggled closer to the warm person beside him on the bed and smiles. He doesn't feel nearly as exhausted as he had been the past few days. 

"Come on. I made breakfast and everything." It's Kihyun trying to get him up. 

"I'm hungry." Jooheon says and slowly starts to move out from under Changkyun's weight. Changkyun whines and it's the cutest noise either of them have ever heard. And Jooheon remembers thinking Changkyun's laugh was the cutest noise the youngest could make. Especially the first time any of them heard it.

Eventually Changkyun rolls out of bed and stretches. He doesn't remember ever putting on the sweater he's wearing but it's comfortable so he doesn't ask about who dressed him last night. It's a little bit of a blur after the group talk and it sends warmth throughout Changkyun's chest. 

Jooheon flanks him on one side and Kihyun on the other as they escort him to the living room. The table has been pulled out and there's food filling every inch of it. Changkyun's mouth starts to water and he hurries to his seat next to Hyungwon. The others had already started eating and there was a bowl of rice that was untouched.

"It's yours." Hyungwon said and stuffed his mouth again with more of the fried eggs. 

Changkyun went to pick up a piece of bread, obviously toasted, but didn't think it'd be hot. He hissed and dropped it, immediately pulling his finger to his mouth. He wishes someone had warned him at least. "Ow ow ow." He had to hold his tongue not to curse. Jooheon had told him the night prior to try to watch his mouth better. He's trying.

"Let me see, baby." Hoseok grabbed his hand from across the table to examine the burn. Changkyun's finger wasn't even red yet and there was no obvious damage. But Changkyun whimpered and pulled his finger back to his mouth to blow on it. Hoseok softened and chuckled before grabbing his hand again.

This time Hoseok brought it to his mouth and kissed the tip. "See all better now." Hoseok's smile was bright and infectious and everyone else looked happy too. Meanwhile, Changkyun was trying not to combust from embarrassment. He was pretty sure that by the end of the day he was going to die from the constant embarrassment.


End file.
